We’re obsessed with “what’s next.”
Next promotion. Next vacation. next weekend. Next notification.
We live as if we are in a waiting room waiting for this big event that never really starts.
Because we always look forward, but in fact we never here.
This is the ultimate thinking mistake: Believe that life is something that happens later.
When you live like this, time disappears.
You wake up on Monday, and in the blink of an eye, it’s Friday. You celebrate the New Year and in the blink of an eye October is here.
If you feel that the pace of life is too fast, it’s because you haven’t lived well yet.
You are just reflecting.
What most people want is not a cure, but relief
Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist known for his blend of Eastern and Western spirituality.
In his book, Rediscover life: awakening to realityhe believes that most people’s lives are a mess.
When people protest, claiming they have good jobs and families, he offers a simple acid test:
“Have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever had heartache? Have you ever been upset by something?”
If the answer is yes, then you’re in trouble.
But he shared a harsh fact: You don’t actually want to get out of trouble. You just want relief.
We want the anxiety to go awaybut we don’t want to give up the things that cause anxiety.
We want to be happy, but we get addicted to the “thrill” of getting what we want.
De Mello’s point is that nothing in reality can upset you. You are troubled by your own attachments.
You believe “If I didn’t have X, I wouldn’t be happy.” This is a false belief. You are blocking your natural state of happiness with attachments, money, and expectations.
The trap of becoming
Jiddu Krishnamurti was a famous thinker and speaker who spent his life encouraging people to break free from psychological conditioning.
In his book, think about these thingshe explains that our entire educational system is based on imitation rather than discovery.
We are told to be like our successful uncles, saints or billionaires. But the moment you want to “be” something, you are no longer free.
gram:
“When you do something wholeheartedly, it’s not because you want to achieve something… but just because you enjoy doing it – because there’s no ambition, is there?”
Think about it…ambition is a form of cruelty to yourself.
It creates a conflict between where you are and where you think you should be.
“Oh, I should be more successful than I am,” you suddenly think.
This inner war is why you are never there. You are too busy living up to the self-image society has given you.
A wise mind is an inquiring mind.
This is a mind that observes, learns, and remains “idle.” A mind occupied with worry or becoming is a dull mind. It can’t solve the problem because it’s too busy protecting its own ego.
Stop playing safe
We are afraid of being alone. We worry that our minds have no “place to rest.”
So we build walls of tradition, custom, and social status.
It’s all an escape.
But sadly, we think we’re playing a safe game. That’s because this is the game Others Playing now. As Krishnamurti said:
“Those who play it safe die safe.”
But they don’t live. To truly live, you must be like a river; endlessly moving, overflowing its banks and seeping into every crevice.
A mind that seeks approval and security quickly stagnates and declines.
The solution is not to “try” to act out or “try” to be smart. that moment you try Whatever you want to be, you have lost.
The solution is to understand…
- Your troubles come from within, not from the world.
- Wanting to be famous is just a sign that you feel like a “nobody” inside.
- You don’t need other people to make you happy; you need to be in touch with reality.
It’s important to realize that you don’t have to be like everyone else. You can stop playing the games society is playing.
You can put your happiness first.
your last day
Musonius Rufus was one of the four great Roman Stoic philosophers and the teacher of Epictetus.
He was known for his pragmatic ethics and lifestyle. in his Lectures and Quoteshe said bluntly:
“You can’t have a good day unless you treat it like it’s your last day.”
If today were your last day, would you spend time thinking about the next month?
Will you spend it “becoming” important to people you don’t like?
Of course not. you will simply yes.
So don’t always think about the eternal next one.
Look around you…really. Stop labeling things or trying to explain everything.
Just observe! Learn from everything.
When you stop trying to get somewhere, you finally arrive.
