Here’s an update on our ongoing 100-day sex experiment, which is now 108 days old and still ongoing. By this point I had realized that if Rachel and I spent time in the same room during the day, it would be a sex day.
Now that sex has become an easy experience for us, it feels like we’ve made long-term changes to this aspect of our lives. It’s hard to imagine a return to pre-experimental reality. It feels like we’ve left the old reality far behind.
I can feel the difference in my body. Just being near her now fills my cells with an electric current of anticipation. We don’t actually have to consciously try to make anything happen. Our bodies, minds, emotions, and energy naturally flow in that direction at least once a day. It takes more effort on our part to stop ourselves from going there.
I remember how I felt during the early years of our long-distance relationship when we reconnected after two or three months apart. Now, this strong attraction has become a reality of our daily lives. It’s as if this experiment invites and encourages our bodies to love each other more, so the feelings of love and intimacy are now even more present. They don’t just exist in the mind and heart – it’s as if these feelings now exist in the cells as well. Therefore, the already good physical and chemical reactions are now much higher. This benefit is amazing.
By doing this for several days, we have eliminated any form of friction or deflection. Whatever our previous reasons for skipping a day have been replaced by engagement patterns. All the “no’s” and “maybes” are replaced by “yes’s”. Now, “Yes” is so powerful that it easily transcends any previous deflection point. It’s like we’ve recoded our minds, constantly reminding us of the good reasons to be receptive to sex, and making us more aware of the long-term benefits.
I don’t think this mental register is unique to sex. Imagine a writer writing for over 100 days straight and working to make the writing experience smoother each time. During that time, almost any form of resistance or procrastination will arise, and the author will have the opportunity to encounter and resolve each instance. After more than 100 days, you might think that almost all resistance has been resolved. At that point, it can be harder not to write, especially if the writing is enjoyable or valuable.
We’ve also created more diverse ways to have sex. So if we just go about our normal days together, which include multiple simple transition points, our bodies are now predicting that those transition points might lead to sex. Actually, it’s a bit silly on our part. Now, if we just hug each other, our bodies will start to get aroused and soon we’ll be kissing and so on.
This is a very interesting place in our relationship. It’s different, but we didn’t see any issues. It makes us feel very close and connected to each other, and I feel like it also improves our level of friendliness and communication. This is a great deep dive into increasing intimacy. We all fell very much in love during this shared adventure. Making love feels like an expression of kindness and mutual care. We both generously go above and beyond to meet each other’s needs.
We were constantly checking in with each other, asking ourselves if it was too much. We kept coming to the conclusion that it was definitely not too much. It’s actually quite good to be able to communicate like this every day.
It’s a mind-bending integrated experience. I had never done anything like this before and I felt like I was transported to a different reality along the way. It feels like it’s still evolving and changing, although not as much as the first three months.
It felt like my reality was wrapped in a blanket of love and now the blanket is staying there. It feels low maintenance and I don’t see any reason to get rid of the blanket. This is a really nice blanket and I appreciate its existence.
One of the effects of this is that it made me wonder where else in my life I could explore something similar. Just as other aspects of my life are already good, can I wrap that aspect with extra love? I feel like I’ve eliminated some of that in my relationship with my home, especially by resolving some areas of friction with it and figuring out how to enjoy maintenance and upgrade projects. I’m also pushing for a more somber, light-hearted, spontaneous style of blogging and will start making more videos soon. Another interesting candidate is my relationship with money, which has been healthy and supportive for 26 years. I might even do something broader and weave multiple areas together, since this is the core vibrational work anyway. A better approach is to take it to a social level and interact with those who want to explore similar upgrades in their lives.
I felt like this sexual experiment was a gateway to a different vibrational reality. I’ve been feeling so full of energy inside lately. I really don’t see this energy that we stir up only existing in our relationship. The energy is great and I feel it increasing. It’s delicious to translate that into physical sex, but I feel like there’s enough content that could flow in other directions as well, like writing, film, social relationships, whatever. I had a feeling that I was immediately entering a phase of full-on openness. In fact I’d say I’m pretty into it now. I feel really good at this moment. I feel that I am well prepared and have enough energy for this.
One reflection over the past few days is that I have developed a stronger awareness of the role exploration plays in my life and work. This one-time experiment was one of many that I undertook for the purpose of discovery rather than obtaining some concrete result. My intentions are rooted in curiosity and wonder…while also exploring connection, love and intimacy.
Exploration has paid off well for me in many areas of life. The more I explore, the better my life becomes. Exploration is the key that opens many doors, especially when I’m exploring some directions that I’m internally hesitant to commit to. Many explorations resulted in permanent changes that I have integrated well into my life. I sensed that if I truly wanted to wrap more areas of my life with greater love, I would be willing to open myself up to more exploration. The real key to exploration, at least for me, is making concrete commitments based on exploration, e.g. 30 day challenge (Or in this case the 100 day challenge).
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